Meanwhile, events caught up with attitude

What a joy it is, to realize that I didn’t obsess! On Thursday I got the phone call — they chose me for the open position. So, as of December I have a new job! And I will continue to put in a few hours at the former place.

Despite the uncertainty, I simply kept moving — doing what I could. There was enough other stuff that needed to get done. I’m in pretty good shape for next weekend’s seminar. We just need to run through the plan once more and put on the finishing touches.

It’s not the absolute best news, but definitely way up there: my coffee machine was not terminally ill. For less than €100 they repaired and revitalized it — so now it looks like new, and the coffee tastes better than ever! What a joy to once again be able to drink a cup of coffee at home. Although, tea wasn’t so bad either.

After the excitement of the past few weeks, I have enjoyed this calm, lazy weekend. Yesterday I spent most of the day reading, only running out for a few groceries late in the afternoon, before the stores closed. (Yes, they close here on Saturday at 6 pm, and they remain closed on Sunday. Imagine that!)

Last night I went to a mystical fund-raiser with new-age experimental music — both melodic and including sounds from nature (birds chirping, rain, thunder…). It was relaxing. And I happened to meet an old friend there, which was nice.

This morning I got up early and went to church — with colleagues and clients from work. We sang a song together. I am a spiritual person, but rarely go to mass. I like going into a church when no one else is there. The quiet stillness and the magical/mystical atmosphere calm me. I light candles, sit quietly and think — or pray.

This afternoon I’m going to meet some friends at a market. They are my fun friends, so laughter is guaranteed. That’ll be nice. It’s been a rather heavy time, I look forward to the lightness of their company. It’ll be a nice change of pace.

Wish you all a peaceful Sunday. Remember: the sun is shining behind the clouds, even if you don’t see it!

Reaching for the stars

Reaching for the stars and I get a premonition:
I am on the right track when I trust my intuition.
Nothing overwhelms me; I take it all in stride,
knowing that the universe is always by my side.

Fear has held me down and blocked me on the way
Fear has made me small and led me far astray.
Yet I never left the path, though I sometimes thought I did
With time I grew and learned to trust in what the future hid.
I stuffed my fears into a suitcase and left it in Prague
Then I slowly walked away, and disappeared in the fog.

I walked into the fog of the future in which nothing was clear
Nothing but the sense of purpose, knowing I’m meant to be here.
That’s all I needed to walk on and be sure
Trust was the key to a long-lasting cure.

Reaching for the stars and I get a premonition:
I am on the right track when I trust my intuition.
Nothing overwhelms me; I take it all in stride,
knowing that the universe is always by my side.

When I feel tired and my strength is on the wane
I no longer need to fight the doubt and the pain.
Now I look at how it is and what I can do
With tiny steps I move forward and can pursue
the dreams and visions which led me to be born.
There’s no need to despair or feel utterly forlorn.

Reaching for the stars and I get a premonition:
I am on the right track when I trust my intuition.
Nothing overwhelms me; I take it all in stride,
knowing that the universe is always by my side.

Gradually taking shape

It has been of immense help to simply slow down and loosen up my expectations. Accepting that I can’t solve everything today has put a new perspective on things. I still don’t know where I’ll be working in December, but I know I’ll have a job. Nor can I today picture exactly how my next seminar in two weeks will be, but I’m working on it now.

Another source of help has been to take joy in the slightest things, and to feel the happiness they stir within me. Nor should the power of support through friends, family and co-workers be underestimated. It does wonders to reach out, talk, listen, ask questions, or just comiserate.

And it’s especially good to clear things up. A colleague and I both had interviews for the same job. At first, we wanted to stay put. Then we both realized we would like to do the new job. That’s when an air of competition snuck in. That did not feel good. She called me for something else, but I addressed the feeling and we had a good, honest talk about it. Both of us had reflected and both come to the decision that we’d like to work at either place and will leave it up to the universe. That works for me. It was important to discuss it.

It’s another dark, grey day — with a few drops of rain now and then, but I’m floating somewhere above it. Optimistic that all will work out one way or another.

Work, music, school, projects, children — it’s all a learning process and I’m right there in the middle. That may not appear to have a specific shape. It may not seem any different than it was last week, when I was feeling overwhelmed. The difference is small but significant: My trust has returned. I have faith in the universal plan. That helped me let go and not even bother to try to control everything or figure it all out. What a relief!