P.S. Crisis

What I forgot to mention in the previous post is the value of humor. One of the major aspects of my recovery was the development of a sense of humor — of which one main ingredient is the ability to laugh at myself. (In a kind way, of course! This is not at all about derisive laughter.)

During the weekend, the process of gaining insight into how I remain entrenched in a crisis was part of a group process. Through wandering about the room and asking our colleagues questions, we sorted ourselves into smaller groups with similar crisis management strategies.

Our goal was: “How to prolong a crisis. How to stay stuck in it.” We were soon laughing at ourselves, with exaggerated — almost cynical — comments. It was an exquisite relief to laugh, and to realize that other people share these behavioral patterns.

Then we went from group to group, to see how the others do it, and explore whether or not we were in the right group. It was like a comedy market, as we went from one “market stand” to the next and asked: “How would you advise me to prolong my crisis?”

“Well, you could feel sorry for yourself, tell yourself that no one could possibly understand you. Or how about massive self-pity and the conviction that no one likes you? Or maybe you prefer denial?” And so on and so forth. It was a bit wacky, but that’s my life these days.