Understanding[,] sympathy and humor

Yesterday I was slightly irritated because a good friend hadn’t written or expressed the amount of concern I’d anticipated. After some (hopeful) hesitation, I wrote and explained that I needed to hear things like, “Thank God you’re not dead!” But since those were my words, I requested more creativity. He answered that I’d made it sound like a bump and a slight bruise.

That’s when I understood about sympathy and humor. It’s up to me to find the humorous side. For example, dear Sanity asked how bad it is. I said: “Well, I sleep as long as I feel like it and even then don’t have to get out of bed. I stay up reading as late as I want. I don’t have to cook, clean, go grocery shopping, or do laundry. It’s awful!!!” She said, “Oh, you poor thing!”

But when someone else said, “You can be thankful it’s not worse and that you can expect a full recovery,” I felt my operated-on shoulder twitch with annoyance. That’s what I’m supposed to say! Or if someone else says it, they need to include a preface like: “Thank God it’s not worse and you’ll recover fully.” You know what I mean? I don’t want to be lectured that I should be thankful. I am of normal intelligence and boy oh boy am I thankful!

All humor aside, I can’t play guitar for quite a while and I can’t drive for at least 3 weeks. (Okay already! I KNOW some people don’t even have a car at their disposal.) I feel like a totally caged monkey with no toys. (SanityFound, when you have a free minute could you take my picture? Thanks!) Now I have sympathy for animals in the zoo. Luckily their living conditions have improved over the years. But now and then they still might wonder about their purpose in life.

Why am I sharing this? Because somebody else might feel sorry for herself or neglected. In that case, I encourage you to reflect on whether or not people know that you need comfort and sympathy. If you joke too much, they might think you’re just fine. And if you happen to be in the lucky position of only having to comfort someone, tell them you are so GLAD that it wasn’t worse. Chances are, they’re as smart as me and have already thanked their lucky stars (probably more than once).

I also want to share that although I am not drowning in self-pity — not even treading, but easily floating with occasional bouts of tears (so that I don’t get stranded on dry ground), and although I will recover and be fine, and with some delay put out the CD that will in my modest estimation far exceed the first one, as well as eventually be able to cook and clean again (low priority), all expressions of compassion and sympathy are welcome!

And if anyone else needs some, feel free to let me know. I have plenty to spare. (Funny how our own compassion works best for others!) Compassion is free, but it’s priceless. So is sympathy.