Weekend Resumé

How did it go? Well, my sons’s fingers were broken on Tuesday, but it wasn’t until Wednesday afternoon that he wanted to go to the hospital — just when I was finishing up getting ready to leave for the seminar. Since he’s been to the hospital a few times with various injuries, I dropped him off there and took care of the grocery shopping. It worked out perfectly — just as I was at the check-out counter, he called to say he was finished as well. So I got to the seminar on time.

The following day, my father had open heart surgery. All went well. At the seminar I felt rather overwhelmed at times — personal worry and the difficulty of the tasks at hand were a bit much!

Friday night I got to bed fairly early. At 12:30 my daughter called from the nearby hospital. She’d fallen and her arms hurt. An hour later she came home: with her right wrist broken, left arm badly bruised, and one knee scraped open. Oh my goodness!

The next morning I made her breakfast and called my son, telling him to come home to tend her. (He’s spent the night at his friend’s house.) He complained and said he’s not her servant, but got the next train home. Unfortunately, he fell asleep and missed the stop. He took the next train back.

Instead of taking care of his sister, he slept until noon, then took the money I’d left on the table for them to buy 2 pizzas, and went back to his friend’s. I’d spoken with my daughter late morning and she seemed fine — even said she planned to go out that evening. So I forgot to check my phone during the breaks. At supper time I saw there were 6 missed calls. She was rather upset — her brother had taken the money, not made her any lunch, she felt helpless and was irritated. There was an evening session, but I begged off and went home. My daughter needed me more.

In addition to all the excitement, the cats continue to be bonkers between 2 and 5 am, so I am suffering from a severe lack of sleep. Sunday night I was tempted to kick them out of the apartment, but managed to restrain myself. I was simply relieved that the weekend was over, and that it went as well as it did.

There are some big challenges to be faced when on my own — but I can manage just fine! It’s all part of life. I’m glad I picked Artemis the other day, as it encouraged me to smile and view all the drama with a sense of humor. I reminded myself that I’d been sad recently, thinking I wanted to have another baby. That made me laugh, as I said to myself: “If you can’t handle a few weeks of sleepless nights, don’t even THINK about a baby!” So life goes on…

Weekend worries

This is what I wrote on a piece of paper last Wednesday, when I still had no internet:

I’m a little concerned. My daughter is on the waiting list for a school, my father will have open heart surgery today or tomorrow, my son broke 2 fingers playing basketball, I have a 5-day seminar and my husband is away for these 5 days, and I feel slightly overwhelmed.

The seminar is only 15 minutes away, so I’m spending the nights in my apartment. That gives me the chance to at least check in with the kids and make sure all is well. (Yes, I confess, they find it cool to be on their own!)

I got home from the seminar, poured a glass of wine, and sat back and watched the cats for a while. Nicky, the “house cat” has been here for 2 weeks now. Three days ago, I brought his brother Babsi here. Babsi is an outdoor cat. Originally, although it nearly broke my heart, I thought I would leave the cats at the house – in their trusted environment. Then, to my surprise, my husband said I should take them with me. He never wanted cats from the start. I was delighted to take Nicky, but hesitated with Babsi – until I was at the house and saw how restricted his life had become. He was only allowed to go into the kitchen to eat, then had to go back outside again. True, he’s an outdoor cat, but he has no objections to a soft couch after a hard night out. So I decided he could live here – it’s not his accustomed hunting ground, but he’d have more love.

I was watching the cats, and contemplating their (nonverbal) adjustment process. They don’t totally understand it, but their humans are here, as well as some familiar pieces of furniture. So they rhyme it together as best they can. I watch as they peek through the gap in the balcony railing to watch the activity on the street below.

But that’s not really what I wanted to write about. It was just an important digression. As I sat here, I felt a bit overwhelmed, and decided a goddess card could be helpful. Who did I happen to pick? Artemis: “You and your loved ones are safe and spiritually well protected.” Ah! Sigh of relief! Artemis says: “Just like me, you have the sacred duty to spread light and love. If you are tense or worried, that is not possible. The gentle essence of your happy heart and hearty laugh will enhance your strength. Why should you be tense – unless you believe you are not protected? But how could you be in danger, when you’ve asked the spiritual warriors for protection? Your prayers have activated perfect protection of the heavens over you. So don’t worry any more. Instead, concentrate on your sacred task.”

Additional meanings: “The angels are watching over you and your loved ones. The future is certain and protected. All of your needs will be fulfilled – always. The worst is behind you.”

Listening to Neil Young’s “After the Gold Rush” and I know: Daddy will be okay, my children will be okay, my cats will be okay, and I will be okay. With this consolation, I’m ready to go to bed! Tomorrow is a new day – and a busy one!

Sunday’s Goddesses

Lately I’ve taken a break from consulting the Goddess Cards. For quite a while, every time I picked a card, they either told me to go out and get some fresh air, to do my art/music, or that I am strong and independent, and everything will turn out for the best. After I’d heard that several times in a row, I decided it was time for a break. I mean, if you get the same advice over and over, maybe it’s time to follow it instead of repeating the question.

During the past weeks I have been out more. I went to the Buddhist monastery again, to the rock circles on the mountain (our mini-version of Stonehenge), and to the lake. I have also taken more time to be with good friends. That has helped.

On this bright sunny Sunday morning, I saw the cards on the bedside table and they seemed to beckon. So I figured, what the heck? Why not see if they say something different today? Obviously they did, otherwise I probably wouldn’t have written.

I picked Isolde and Irene. Isolde says: “For affairs of the heart, there is help all around you, as well as within you. Your inner wisdom might have been silenced by the pain, but trust that your healing will be effective and fast, and that you will truly heal from the inside out.

First your heart must be healed from all worry, loneliness and feelings of betrayal. Be patient, it may take some time. Be as gentle and considerate with yourself as you would be with anyone else who is suffering. And then, go out into the world. (I knew this was coming!) Not into the raw everyday world, but into the world of forests, parks, and other such places. They will help you view the world in a friendlier way. Nature is a great healer. That’s why I like to be among the trees and flowers. They appear still, but if you open yourself to them, you will soon discover that they are quite communicative. Spend time in forests, under trees, with flowers and animals, and soon you will return to the living. I promise you that your heart will heal and that you will in this way also be of help to others.”

Various affirmations from Isolde are: “No matter how things appear on the outside, your partner’s love is eternal. – You are presently in the process of ending and healing from a relationship. – You are healing from some other type of loss. – Let go of an old relationship to make space for a new one. – The love that you spread into the world is an essential part of your godly calling. – Loved ones who have died are well and send their love.”

Irene says: “Even if things seem to be chaotic, I assure you there is a larger plan in effect. The ever-loving power supports you fully. Relax in the arms of godly love and let go of cares and fears as you breathe out. Concentrate on happily recognizing every blessing that you receive. Your gratitude will bring more blessings into your life.”

Various affirmations from Irene are: “Leave your cares and fears to the sky. – Pray – Meditate – Do whatever strengthens your inner peace, i.e. yoga, sea salt baths, massage, quiet pauses, music, playfulness and such things.”

Today’s cards are assuring me that I am on the right path. I feel that healing. Lately I’ve truly had the sensation of coming back to life, walking again among the living. Through the process, I have found my way back to my daughter as well. That alone is enough of a blessing, but there is much more. Life seems worth living. I no longer feel trapped. I can make decisions, take steps, and be aware of what is going on. People appreciate and like me. I am not a victim. Life is incredible and I am grateful.

I just wanted to share this because, as usual, it might be helpful to someone else as well. Have a beautiful day!