Dreamy reality

Several days ago I had a long, complicated dream. If I hadn’t been so tired, I would have tried to write it down. It was like a movie. In the meantime, I’ve forgotten the content, but the message has remained.

The strange thing about the dream was, that I didn’t like how things developed and this time I was able to go back and start over again. The various scenes and interactions changed. However… the end results were the same! I found that quite interesting.

When I woke up, I thought about it some more and then it occurred to me: that is destiny. Even if you change things or do things differently, your fate will prevail. That is a comfort. Somehow I don’t feel so bad about mistakes and wrong decisions, which are, after all, rather subjective definitions. It is important that I remain active and take steps, but then I let go and accept whatever the universe delivers.

This reminds me of an experience I had in March. At the seminar we did a “dream journey” meditation and were led back to the time before birth, and then back again to the present. What struck me during that meditation was the realization that everything that had happened was part of my life. It belonged to me, to my own special, personal biography.

Before the meditation I had some reservations. I dreaded going back to the really sad and painful chapters. But when I got there, it wasn’t awful at all. I simply took note of all the experiences which contributed to who and what I am today.

I like that approach! It’s all part of me, belongs to me, and that’s it. Once again I am reminded to be conscientious, but to not take myself all too seriously. I do what I do and leave the rest up to God and the universe. That’s enough! Yippie!

I feel old!

November 24, 1991 was the day Freddie Mercury died. That was eighteen years ago!!! On December 8 it will be 29 years since John Lennon was killed. Jimmy Hendrix died on my 8th birthday — 39 years ago!!! And Jim Morrison has been gone for 38 years. These feel like huge numbers and it just doesn’t seem possible that so much time has passed. It seems like it was just yesterday, and I still feel a strong spiritual connection to them.

Those memories have a dimension of their own. My parents have been divorced for 34 years, but it seems like that was a hundred years ago. Time certainly is relative.

A life in a day

The other day I heard an interesting concept, which has since added a degree of lightness to my step and joy to my heart. What is it? “Every single day is a whole life.”

This approach has a fun aspect to it. Whereas “make the most of every day” has something close to admonishment in it for me — as well as a command to achieve, to view today as a life of its own gives me hope and excitement.

Perhaps it’s the idea of dealing with the day at hand. There’s no pressure to make the most of it, there’s just the challenge of living today. Yesterday I noticed that I was more in the now, enjoying the moment.

Wow! I got a few errands run, worked, had a doctor’s appointment (which I’d put off for around a year!), and in the evening both of my kids were here. I enjoyed their company. We talked, joked, played cards, and each had some time alone as well. It was simply a life, without the burden of the future or the past.

And today I have another life!