I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Without music I would have perished long ago. It has kept me alive, happy, dancing and full of hope — even in the worst despair.
Here’s another absolutely wonderful song. I used to listen to it, dance to it, sing along, but I didn’t dare believe that I could have it all. Nor do I believe it now. Today I know that I can’t have everything.
But… I want it all! I want all that is possible for me to accomplish, learn, realize, discover, achieve, experience and love. That’s the deal. God bless you, Freddy!
I want it all
Adventure seeker on an empty street
Just an alley creeper light on his feet
A young fighter screaming with no time for doubt
With the pain and anger can’t see a way out
It ain’t much I’m asking I heard him say
Gotta find me a future move out of my way
I want it all I want it all I want it all and I want it now
I want it all I want it all I want it all and I want it now
Listen all you people come gather round
I gotta get me a game plan gotta shake you to the ground
Just give me what I know is mine
People do you hear me just give me the sign
It ain’t much I’m asking if you want the truth
Here’s to the future for the dreams of youth
I want it all (give it all) I want it all I want it all and I want
It now
I want it all (yes I want it all) I want it all (hey)
I want it all and I want it now
I’m a man with a one track mind
So much to do in one life time (people do you hear me)
Not a man for compromise and wheres and whys and living
Lies
So I’m living it all (yes I’m living it all)
And I’m giving it all (and I’m giving it all)
Yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
I want it all all all all
It ain’t much I’m asking if you want the truth
Here’s to the future
Hear the cry of youth (hear the cry hear the cry of youth)
I want it all I want it all I want it all and I want it now
I want it all (yeah yeah yeah) I want it all I want it all and i
Want it now
Yesterday was the strangest day, but not at all in a bad way. Various things were on my mind, circling, coming together, making sense, then not at all. And then, quite unexpectedly, I threw care to the wind and made a decision. A true decision, which is rather unusual for me. But I did it and I decided to follow through, stick with it, and take a ride on the wave of fate. See, I have a history of control-freakness and have preferred to plan things. Although I do work with serendipity, I still like to have the reigns in my hand. This time is different. The strange thing is, afterwards I felt, excited, calm, relieved, happy and full of anticipation — all at the same time.
I had to go to work, and just didn’t make it to the gym. But since I made a resolution and it’s still January, I decided to go downstairs to the cellar, put on a CD and use the bicycle for a half hour. I don’t know why, since I’ve been listening to all kinds of other stuff lately, but I chose Patti Smith: Easter. When the first tones of “Set me free” came on, I knew why I’d chosen it.
I was transported back to being a 16-year-old, spending hours lying on my bed, listening to this song, singing along, and feeling inspired. Yes, I did indeed want a reason to live. I had given up hope, but there was a spark somewhere, which Patti Smith through her music turned into a little flame, which kept me warm over the years until I was ready for recovery. Yes, I was so desperate, just a little flame was enough — at that time. And this song was especially powerful. It balanced out the ravages of bingeing and purging and built me up again.
So I found it utterly appropriate that on the day I make an important decision only according to my heart and completely without being “reasonable” that this song would pop up. I let go and accept whatever happens. I put my life in God’s hands.
So here’s the song. May the spark of determination fly over to you and inspire.
Set me free (Privilege)
I see it all before me:
the days of love and torment;
the nights of rock-and-roll.
I see it all before me.
Sometimes my spirit’s empty;
don’t have the will to go on.
I wish someone would send me
energy.
Give me something.
Give me something to give.
Oh, God, give me something:
a reason to live.
My body is aching.
Don’t want sympathy.
Come on. Come and love me.
Come on. Set me free.
Set me free.
The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul.
He leadeth me through the path of righteousness for His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me.
Hey, Lord, I’m waitin’ for you.
Oh, God, I’m waitin’ for you;
waitin’ to open Your ninety-eight wounds
and be Thee, be Thee.
Lead me, oh, lead me.
Leave me something.
Leave me something to live.
Oh, God, give me something:
a reason to live.
I don’t want no handout;
no, not sympathy.
Come on. Come and love me.
Come on. Set me free.
Set me free.
Come on. Set me free
Set me free . . .
Oh, I’m so young, so goddamn young.
Oh, I’m so young, so goddamn young.
Oh, I’m so young, so goddamn.
Set me free.
In the presence of my enemies,
Thou anointest my head with oil.
My cup runneth over.
Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life.
And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
What fun it is to roam around youtube on a rainy Sunday morning. I happened upon this jewel. I always loved this song, and this live version is incredible. Too bad I didn’t take her word for it back then, but that’s how life is. I had to figure it out for myself the hard way, even though I knew what was right all along.
You don’t own me (Leslie Gore)
You don’t own me
I’m not just one of your many toys
You don’t own me
Don’t say I can’t go with other boys
And don’t tell me what to do
And don’t tell me what to say
And, please, when I go out with you
Don’t put me on display
cause, you don’t own me
Don’t try to change me in any way
You don’t own me
Don’t tie me down
I will never stay
I don’t tell you what to say
I don’t tell you what to do
So, just let me be myself
That’s all I ask of you
I’m young and I love to be young
I’m free and I love to be free
To live my life the way I want
To say and do whatever I please
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