Hanging by a thread

May 3, 2008 at 10:46 am 4 comments

That’s what I’m doing emotionally these days, because my life is kind of upside down and really needs some shaking out. I spent some time reading inspirational posts by real people like me, who are also not perfect, who have also experienced a lot, who have faced incredible challenges and still have more to go, and that gives me hope.

I guess I’d been floating on this plateau for a while, not realizing that a storm was brewing. Or maybe I just needed to be oblivious for a while to gather my strength. Or I was so scared that I did all I could to keep the storm in the kettle with the lid on, but didn’t know how to turn off the stove. Anyway, I don’t feel particularly strong right now. I’m just kind of sitting here. Suddenly it occurred to me: That is okay, too. Then I had the vision of hanging by a thread and thought to myself: Yes, that could be quite a catchy tune, and right now, that’s about all you can do with it. Maybe make a funny song out of it.

See, sometimes we really just need to hang. To pray, to admit our helplessness, and be willing to let higher power take over for a while, because our free will hasn’t been so free. Or maybe it got us into more trouble than we bargained for. That is okay. Take off the pressure. There are others who are putting it together now, linking the thoughts and insights that I need, for which I am so grateful.

All that has gone before makes us what we are today. I keep hearing that, and I do believe it. I’m not spouting wisdom today. Instead, I’m walking around holding out my apron to catch all the wisdom and insight that others offer. And I’m not going to feel guilty about it or put myself down for being selfish. I’m just going to thank everyone. And I will keep thanking them, keep hanging by my thread, and keep listening. Standing there with my apron, I look at the lush green fields, the blue-grey snow-tipped mountains outlined in the sky, and take in the energy.

Life is up and down, a series of waves, with different phases. Right now I’m in a phase of holding on. When the time is right, I’ll be able to let go again – and then probably laugh when I realize I didn’t fall very far at all! Breathe and laugh, breathe and laugh. The next change is going to be a big one!

 

 

 

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Entry filed under: inspiration, life. Tags: , , , , , , .

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4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. thepinkninja  |  May 3, 2008 at 10:49 am

    I can relate. The letting go is never as painful/scary as I think it will be. But still I resist it again and again. I’ll be thinking of you. Be well!

    Reply
  • 2. sulochanosho  |  May 3, 2008 at 10:59 am

    Yes, thoughts of all ups and downs do haunt us. Acceptance is the answer, and power too. Good narration there.

    Reply
  • 3. diaryofarecoveredbulimic  |  May 3, 2008 at 12:02 pm

    Thank you both. The simple truth that others know and share the same feelings/experiences, makes it more doable somehow! Thanks for your good thoughts!

    Reply
  • 4. SanityFound  |  May 3, 2008 at 8:09 pm

    Feels as though you are saying the exact words that I was thinking a few years back, I used the same expression for in reality it is but a thread that we are hanging on to for dear life. That thread gets stronger, friends come along and help us hold on and slowly the light begins to shine and that thread becomes rope, the rope becomes life.

    Reply

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