May 10, 2008 at 7:04 pm 2 comments

They love you dearly. They are always there to listen. They can drive you crazy. They don’t have a clue. They give up a lot for you. They are your biggest fan. And now I know how it is to be one. I am fortunate to still have both of my parents, but with my husband went through the loss of both of his parents, just two months apart from each other.

The last New Year’s Eve we celebrated with his parents, I told my mother-in-law how much I appreciate her and the fact that she accepts me as I am. I know it was difficult for her at times, because we had very different ways of doing things, but she never criticized or put me down. So I told her that she was a great mother-in-law, so different from the ones in films! And I gave her a big hug. That fall she called me on my birthday and wished me the best of everything. She said she hoped that I would accomplish all I set out to do in life. Two weeks later, she passed away, unexpectedly. It was as if we both had known we had to make use of the time we had.

For my husband it was especially difficult, because he was not close to either of them. His relationship with his mother had just begun to blossom after many years of silence, and then she was gone. His father loved him dearly and was very proud of him, but they just couldn’t talk. There were many things left unsaid. I felt his pain for a long time and often cried for him. It was so sad.

My mother can drive me crazy, but I love her very much. We are very close and I treasure that. It pains me to know that someday she will go. As long as we still have our parents, we can express and share many things. But when they are gone, they are still with us.

I want to share with you a beautiful song that someone wrote about her mother after she died. They were very close. They still are.

Mother Rose (Patti Smith)

Mother rose Every little morn’
To tend to me There she stood
Waiting by the door Selflessly

Took my hand Took it with a smile tenderly
Mother rose Every little morn’
To tend to me Now’s the time
To turn the view Now that I have you

And I’ll rise Every little morn’
To tend to thee When you rise
Open up your eyes You will see
There I’ll be Waiting by the door
Come to me Take my hand
Look into your heart There I’ll be

Now’s the time To turn the view
Now that I have you

Now’s the time To turn the view
Now that I have you

Roses growing by my door Climbing up the vine
All the thorns and pain obscured Roses shall divine
Where we feel no pain And the love inside
Where roses climb Roses shall divine
Roses shall divine Holy mother
Mother of gold Mother with stories
Told and retold She felt our tears
Heard our sighs And turned to gold
Before our eyes She rose into the light
She rose into the light She rose into the light


Entry filed under: Family/Relationships, Grief and Loss, mothers and daughters. Tags: , , , , .

Numbers and self-worth Mother’s Day

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. SanityFound  |  May 12, 2008 at 6:49 am

    Losing a parent is never easy, I often wonder how my mother coped when her own mother passed away just 2 weeks after hearing that she was pregnant with me and that I was going to be named after her. It’s funny my mother says and believes I am the reincarnation of her – my ways are like hers and she says I have wisdom like her mother – weird

  • 2. diaryofarecoveredbulimic  |  May 12, 2008 at 7:53 am

    I’m sure you were/are a comfort to your mother after she lost her mother. There is something beautiful about the gesture of you coming after her mother left.


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