Mother’s Day

May 11, 2008 at 1:16 pm 3 comments

Yesterday’s post had nothing to do with Mother’s Day. I wrote it because I read someone else’s post about her mother being seriously ill, about how she isn’t ready to live without her mother, and that song came to mind. I wanted to send this person and all women who are tending their ailing mothers some loving energy.

So, today is Mother’s Day. There’s no big fanfare in this house. Now that the kids are older, I still do get a hand-made gift, which always makes me happy. But having to lie in bed and wait until they make breakfast is passé. (Actually, my favorite part about that used to be listening to them during their preparations. That warmed my heart.) Two years ago my son asked me: “Do we have to get up early tomorrow and make breakfast?” With relief I kindly answered, “No, of course not.” Since then, I have enjoyed Mother’s Day by sleeping as long as I want to, getting up when I want to, and breakfasting alone or with whomever happened to be up. And I don’t clear off the table when I’m finished.

Sometimes I cook lunch, sometimes we go out to eat. It annoys me that they don’t make those plans themselves, but since I never told them to, why should they? Especially since I loudly proclaim that Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day are a farce and only based on making money. I have to stick to what I say. We did think about going out to eat today, but when I think of the crowds and the waiting time… No, thank you. I said I would cook something, but since we had breakfast so late, I’m really not hungry. My husband and son will go to a soccer game later and they can eat something there. My daughter spent the night at her friend’s house, and won’t get back until later. I’ll spoil myself and cook something for myself that only I like. Later.

We talked about going out to eat next weekend, when things are quieter. I think I’d rather use the money for a care package to Burma, but it doesn’t look like it would get to them. If things improve, I will. If things don’t improve, I know someone who is building another school in Nepal for the children who survive their escape from Tibet over the Himalayas. With things the way they are, I’m not in the mood to spend money frivolously. Not today.

Maybe next weekend we’ll all take a drive to a nearby sea and just walk around a bit, spend some time together. I would like that. This weekend there is too much traffic. I think Mother’s Day is more about enjoying motherhood. Children don’t really appreciate their mothers until they have children of their own, or at least until they’re closer to my age. For my children, it is taken for granted that I am here for them. And rightly so! Why instill them with guilt and forced gratitude so early on? God knows, I KNOW what I’m talking about. I felt obliged to be grateful for everything. (I find it wonderfully appropriate that I first succeeded in throwing up on a Thanksgiving. Sorry, that’s just my sick humor!)

My husband was at the tennis club last night and they discussed Mother’s Day. The men decided that they really don’t have to spoil their wives today, because they are not their mothers. Well, my dear men, if your wives didn’t happen to be the mothers of your children, you might be single today! Think about it! You might just want to be grateful after all and spoil them a little. Not just today.

Please accept my apologies if I’m bringing you down. The forecast was for sun today, and it’s been rainy and grey all morning — except for one hour of sunshine. So that’s affecting my mood. Principally I have absolutely no problem with celebrating anything to show that we appreciate someone. I think it is a wonderful idea, and I try to do it as often as possible. My mother lives alone and is lonely (two different things), and I call her a couple of times a week to chat. I don’t do that because I think I’m supposed to, but because I like to. I’m glad she’s still around. I appreciate now what I didn’t appreciate 30 years ago — that she did her best in the situation, and that she loves me unconditionally and believes in me. No matter what. As children we used to joke that we could end up in jail and she would probably say, “Well, I believe in you. I’m sure you did the right thing.”

This may seem a bit weird, but this Mother’s Day I take the liberty of being a little grumpy, because everyone is on their best behavior and has to humor me. My husband wanted to shower just as I was going in. He convinced me to let him go first, because he would be faster. In exchange, he agreed to clean the shower when I was finished. I sarcastically agreed: “Well of course! On Mother’s Day it’s all about letting the others go first.” After I had showered, he thanked me for being so friendly. I replied: “I should have gone first and made you scrub my back, but it didn’t occur to me in time.” He agreed with me, and then told me about the discussion at the tennis club. Good grief!

Ah, I hear thunder rumbling. There’s a storm coming. Thank goodness my daughter’s not here. We almost always fight before a thunderstorm. We are both very sensitive, and that electrical energy in the air gets to us. Then the storm hits and we are calm again, once the crazy energy is released.

Don’t let my grumpiness get to you. I’m really writing this for other grumpy mothers. Those who are having a non-grumpy Mother’s Day probably aren’t at their computers anyway. So, if you’re grumpy today, know that you’re not alone, and it’s okay. From the bottom of my heart, I wish everyone a wonderful day. Really! I have to go now. I want to call my mother and my stepmother.

Entry filed under: mothers and daughters. Tags: , , , , , , , , .

Mothers Expect a Miracle

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. SanityFound  |  May 12, 2008 at 6:34 am

    lol who’s grumpy? as long as you don’t tell me you cleaned those windows yesterday I am happy 🙂 Interesting times, the sea sounds fantastic so grounding my favourite place in the world! Chat soon Mwah

  • 2. diaryofarecoveredbulimic  |  May 12, 2008 at 7:54 am

    Actually, it was a nice day! No, I didn’t clean any more windows or anything else! 🙂

  • 3. SanityFound  |  May 12, 2008 at 8:03 am

    Phew thank goodness for that re windows 😀 Glad you had a fab day my friend


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