First Love

May 21, 2008 at 10:24 pm Leave a comment

It’s midnight, I’m waiting for my daughter to come home, and while looking for a poem I wrote when my grandmother died, I found this. I wrote it a few years ago. So, tonight I’m offering a few poems…

First Love

It was the awakening of the senses,
the first knowledge of desire and longing,
a taste of what could not be mine.

Time out of mind you are with me,
the unsuspecting cause of many broken hearts,
still silently inhabiting my heart.
Just a tiny niche, but the most important,
so no one can ever take your place.

Most of my life you have walked with me,
whether you knew it or not.
Every new love was up against you,
comparison being the measure:
If he could make me begin to forget
and offer a new kind of pleasure.

Youth is revisited in the volumes –
the story of many, interwoven with one.
Perusal has caused sadness, anger, forgiveness and love
arising from compassion for all of us back then.
Too old to seek comfort from home,
too young to seek comfort from others,
too young to trust in the universe.

Always backstage offering cryptic advice,
which elicited even more cryptic responses.
You who broke my heart, who I would still love today,
introduced me as the one who broke your heart.
How could we not know? Yet we did and feared to err.

Now we offer advice for each other with another,
wishing only happiness, no longer craving possession.
Just knowing love is there warms my heart.
You’ve become my advisor and confidant,
know my secrets, see through my heart,
and yet refrain from condescension
or claims to know me better than I.

Yet there stirs in the depths this silent desire.
Child of circumstance remains calm
but is ready to spring at a moment’s notice
to melt away half a lifetime and dissolve in your arms.

Fortune sacrificed letters and photos to purges.
Perhaps wisely, alleviating current surges
of feeling and pining, and pity and whining.
Otherwise immersed with artifacts in hand,
I would stumble in a daze throughout the land.

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Entry filed under: love, Poetry. Tags: , , .

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