Try again

June 27, 2008 at 8:05 am 2 comments

Well I still only have five fingers at my disposal and have to lean back in my chair or my shoulder starts to throb in pain, but perhaps this will teach me to get to the point. Tuesday morning I had an awful argument with my almost-16-year-old. Once again she was running late and begged me to drive her to school. We’d been through that the previous day, and I’d told her that was it. If she gets up too late, that is her problem. She went from begging, to guilt (“Just once you could do me a favor), to outright accusation and abuse (“I wish you were dead.”) That shocked me and I told her: “Even in your strongest anger, you don’t say things like that. If I die today, you’ll never forgive yourself.”

I eventually gave in and drove her, which meant I could forget a leisurely breakfast, reading the newspaper and then walking to the hairdresser. I got back just in time to park the car and ride my bike there. This is an expensive bike that I was coerced into buying, because my family considered my 20-year-old mint-green three-speed an embarrassment. But it had gentler brakes.

So I raced off, signalled a right turn and clamped the left (front) brake. That led to a somersault. My shoulder was thoughtful enough to take the brunt of it. Rather than being dead now (in which case I wouldn’t be writing), or in a coma, I just have a slight bruise on my cheekbone and it hurts when I laugh. There isn’t really much to laugh about these days, but my dear friends are doing their best to cheer me up, so an occasional smirk is unavoidable.

There I lay in the middle of the road and watched a white van advancing. Since I couldn’t move, I calmly wondered if he would finish the job or help me. Lo and behold he stopped, lifted my bike off of me, helped me stand up (with another person supporting my back whom I never caught sight of), and offered to take me to the doctor. I said the hospital was more appropriate, but first I had to go cancel my hair appointment. He helped me walk the 15 yards, I walked in and said, “Hi, I have an appointment, but unfortunately have to cancel because I just had a bicycle accident and have to go to the hospital.” The guy put my bike in his van, drove me to the hospital, asked my address, and dropped my bike off at home. And I thought to myself: “Wow! There really are some great people!”

Since then I’ve been operated on and am back home. Mostly I sleep, read, talk on the phone, or spend brief intervals at the computer. Everyone has been incredibly nice and encouraging. More later, I have to rest again. Cause then I’m going to walk into town (10 minutes) and go to the hairdresser. My husband asked if I was going to take the bike, but I think the scooter would be more manageable with one hand. Just goofing around — I’m walking!

What have I learned? I will stop spoiling my daughter. I will take better care of myself. It is better to be firm and say “No.” If I’m not careful, something will happen to wake me up. When things get to be too much, I need to slow down. I have dear friends upon whom I can rely. Life is always good for a surprise.

I have not made it easy for my daughter. Rather than immediately forgiving her or saying it wasn’t her fault, I refused to see her at the hospital. When she walked in, I simply commented that her wish hadn’t been granted. I’m not dead yet. I’m letting her help out, make me a sandwich, get me something to drink. I’m not accepting any demands she tries to put on me. It is rather late to learn about boundaries, but I believe this is a valuable lesson for both of us. Like Rousseau I believe in the basic good of all people, but we/they need more boundaries than I realized.

And no, I don’t blame her for the accident. I was the one riding the bike.

Entry filed under: accident as wake-up call, life. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

brief update in between naps Maybe I’m a beggar

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. SanityFound  |  June 27, 2008 at 9:31 pm

    Wow am so glad you are ok, that that kind man stopped and helped you out. You write a shocking story in the most comical of ways hun, you had me giggling through the shock! Glads you are on the mend, is it ok to go out and dance???


  • 2. diaryofarecoveredbulimic  |  June 28, 2008 at 9:22 am

    Laughter is the best medicine! 🙂 But I can’t dance just yet, so please dance for me. Thanks!


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