Hairdo and Self-worth

June 29, 2008 at 9:54 am 4 comments

Is this an unusual title? Well, someone used it as a search term today and it struck a chord. For many years I had long, beautiful hair. Sure, that was flattering to hear, but sometimes I felt an urge to cut it. I never verbalized it, but I was afraid that if I cut it, “they” might not like me anymore.

My husband has never made a secret out of his preference for long hair. As long as I gave him the power, I either kept it long, or in a moment of daring cut it myself or had it cut, prepared to bear the brunt of his disapproval.

Those days are over. It is my head and my hair! (But no, I don’t intend to cut off my head!!) No one has the right to decide for me, nor are they entitled to be angry or make me feel bad if I prefer short hair. It has gotten shorter over the years (from waist-length to shoulders), but lately I’ve felt a strong urge for change. Funny how that is often reflected in our hair.

I cut it myself again – chin length, but decided to have the hairdresser give it some form. Thus I set out on what was to become a fateful Tuesday. I decided to try again on Thursday. (I think it was Thursday!!) Anyway, I told her what I wanted, then as she washed my hair, I thought: “No, I want it really short!” So that’s what I told her to do. I am pleased. My husband didn’t dare say anything negative, because I don’t give him that power anymore. His approval does not determine my self-worth. With the hair I feel like I let go of excess baggage. I feel free.

My son came home from school, looked at me and asked if I’d been to the hairdresser. He knew I’d been snipping away the past few days (before the accident). I couldn’t resist saying, “No. Papa was mowing the lawn. I tripped and fell down, and he mowed over my head.” That may sound awful, but he and I share a rather strange humor, which I appreciate very much.

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Entry filed under: Haircuts and Change, life. Tags: , , , , , , , .

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4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. SanityFound  |  June 29, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    Ok dear I haven’t stopped laughing and I read this an hour ago!!! ROFL ok will come back and comment properly later once I have calmed down!!!

    Reply
  • 2. diaryofarecoveredbulimic  |  June 29, 2008 at 9:36 pm

    Take your time on the comment! I’d much rather know you’re ROFL! Always happy to get you going! After all, you often give me so much to laugh about as well! šŸ™‚

    Reply
  • 3. Amber  |  June 30, 2008 at 12:46 am

    what a funny and touching story. I hope you like your new look!

    Reply
  • 4. diaryofarecoveredbulimic  |  June 30, 2008 at 8:29 am

    I do, I do! Thank you very much!

    Reply

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