Understanding[,] sympathy and humor

July 1, 2008 at 12:37 pm 7 comments

Yesterday I was slightly irritated because a good friend hadn’t written or expressed the amount of concern I’d anticipated. After some (hopeful) hesitation, I wrote and explained that I needed to hear things like, “Thank God you’re not dead!” But since those were my words, I requested more creativity. He answered that I’d made it sound like a bump and a slight bruise.

That’s when I understood about sympathy and humor. It’s up to me to find the humorous side. For example, dear Sanity asked how bad it is. I said: “Well, I sleep as long as I feel like it and even then don’t have to get out of bed. I stay up reading as late as I want. I don’t have to cook, clean, go grocery shopping, or do laundry. It’s awful!!!” She said, “Oh, you poor thing!”

But when someone else said, “You can be thankful it’s not worse and that you can expect a full recovery,” I felt my operated-on shoulder twitch with annoyance. That’s what I’m supposed to say! Or if someone else says it, they need to include a preface like: “Thank God it’s not worse and you’ll recover fully.” You know what I mean? I don’t want to be lectured that I should be thankful. I am of normal intelligence and boy oh boy am I thankful!

All humor aside, I can’t play guitar for quite a while and I can’t drive for at least 3 weeks. (Okay already! I KNOW some people don’t even have a car at their disposal.) I feel like a totally caged monkey with no toys. (SanityFound, when you have a free minute could you take my picture? Thanks!) Now I have sympathy for animals in the zoo. Luckily their living conditions have improved over the years. But now and then they still might wonder about their purpose in life.

Why am I sharing this? Because somebody else might feel sorry for herself or neglected. In that case, I encourage you to reflect on whether or not people know that you need comfort and sympathy. If you joke too much, they might think you’re just fine. And if you happen to be in the lucky position of only having to comfort someone, tell them you are so GLAD that it wasn’t worse. Chances are, they’re as smart as me and have already thanked their lucky stars (probably more than once).

I also want to share that although I am not drowning in self-pity — not even treading, but easily floating with occasional bouts of tears (so that I don’t get stranded on dry ground), and although I will recover and be fine, and with some delay put out the CD that will in my modest estimation far exceed the first one, as well as eventually be able to cook and clean again (low priority), all expressions of compassion and sympathy are welcome!

And if anyone else needs some, feel free to let me know. I have plenty to spare. (Funny how our own compassion works best for others!) Compassion is free, but it’s priceless. So is sympathy. šŸ™‚

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Entry filed under: accident as wake-up call, compassion. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , .

Character defects Cutting through clutter

7 Comments Add your own

  • 1. amandahox  |  July 1, 2008 at 6:33 pm

    hmmm.
    this made me understand perhaps why my friends and family aren’t being supportive (so to say) in my Bulimia treatement.
    It’s true that i do make it seem not as terrifiying as it is, so they probly think i’m fine.
    Anyway, be strong šŸ™‚ have plenty of rest, and thankgod it’s not worse and you’ll have a full recovery (i’m not creative lol)

    Reply
  • 2. diaryofarecoveredbulimic  |  July 1, 2008 at 9:07 pm

    thank you. we are very strong – incredibly strong – to survive bulimia, and need to learn to lean on others just a tiny bit. You said thank god, so I’m satisfied! šŸ™‚ all the best to you. and you have my email any time you want to chat — or need some compassion.

    Reply
  • 3. InSanityFound  |  July 3, 2008 at 9:17 am

    Awwwwws you know those poooor windows are missing you *sniff* *sniff* jokes hope its coming along nows and its no more ROFLHMS but rather just ROFLMAO…?

    It is always us who choose how to see things, say things and take things – we make our own beds and not for one moment have you complained to me about this said shoulder… in fact you have had me in absolute hysterics woman!!!

    *hugs* to you my friend I hope that teenager is behaving!

    Reply
  • 4. diaryofarecoveredbulimic  |  July 3, 2008 at 9:35 am

    Please excuse my ignorance, but what is MAO?

    Maybe being the old lady I am šŸ™‚ does have its advantages. As time goes by, I am not only accepting this setback, but actually find myself diving in (with one arm & still enough tears so I can splash instead of bang my head on the ground again) to learn all the lessons it has to offer. I mean, what else should I do with all this down-time anyway? Making the best of it.

    I’ll just sit here & keep on singing… “I wish I could be normal. I wish I could be free. I wish I could pursue in peace, my own InSanity…” šŸ˜€

    Reply
  • 5. InSanityFound  |  July 3, 2008 at 12:54 pm

    lol nutter you always make me laugh and am glad I’ve met you šŸ™‚

    ROFLMAO
    Rolling On Floor Laughing My Ass Off šŸ˜€

    Reply
  • 6. sandrar  |  September 10, 2009 at 9:54 pm

    Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. šŸ™‚ Cheers! Sandra. R.

    Reply
    • 7. diaryofarecoveredbulimic  |  September 11, 2009 at 7:11 am

      Thank you! I’m glad to hear from you!

      Reply

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