Haircuts and rules

July 21, 2008 at 5:28 pm 5 comments

Late last night I was chatting with a friend and mentioned that I’d gotten my haircut three times in the past two weeks. Now it’s finally the way I want it. Regardless of what others think, I want my hair to be a reflection of me. I want inside and outside to be in harmony, to merge into a whole being who is at peace with herself. A daring haircut offers that last nudge to break the inertia and propel forward. It is a visible sign of change, and frees up bound energy. That led us to explore the realm of haircuts and rules.

Oh, a little aside. After that journey down memory lane with David Cassidy in the previous post, I realized that my hairstyle was very similar to his the past few years. It’s my favorite, really. He made a more lasting impression on me than I realized! However, these days, even that bit of hair is too heavy for me. Now I need to feel light and free. (It’s also much easier to wash with one hand!)

Every day of our lives we make numerous choices, and sometimes we forget that we have a choice. The most important thing about choices, as my friend says, is that they be made in accordance with our true selves. We should not decide against ourselves. How many times have I chosen “right” over “me” and been sorely disappointed?!

Yet many of my decisions have been based on weird rules that I collected along the way. Some of them I made up myself, others were imposed upon me by people who need to exert control. Many such rules I adopted without question. Now I want to change a few. Lately I have gotten better acquainted with some remarkably everyday people who follow their hearts rather than rules. They are inspiring, exciting, interesting, lively people who make me feel so much more alive!

My short hair has caused much discussion with girlfriends. They said that a change of hairstyle is often the predecessor of a major change. One cut her hair and got divorced. Another cut her hair and quit her job. The altered appearance is a source of strength and encouragement. It helps us get out of the daily rut and try something else.

The other night one friend said she also likes short hair, but her husband doesn’t like it. Therefore she has long hair. I told her my husband doesn’t like it either. Years ago I let that matter, and he told me how awful I looked. Today he doesn’t say anything, because I no longer give him that power. Looking back, I think it is awful that I let another person dictate what I did with my appearance. After all, my hair is part of me! Yet I had taken his displeasure and made it a rule: You must have long hair if you want to be loved. How many rules are just crazy figments of our imagination?

Let us be free to be ourselves and not let our self-worth depend on someone else’s preferences and opinions. Let us live as we choose, but abide by the Golden Rule. Easier said than done, but it’s a start. Choices can be difficult, but once they are made, I breathe a sigh of relief and move on. Learning by doing, one step at a time, I’m getting there. And I’m happy to have such wonderful interactions with old friends and new. I interpret that as a sign that I am on the right track.

I believe we each come to the earth with a destiny. But it is our choice as to how we go about fulfilling it – whether we take the most direct route or a series of detours. That is the choice of the individual. Such a simple truth, but so easily forgotten! For myself, I would say I’m a detour queen, and it’s been very interesting along the way. Now I’m ready for a new direction!

the new look

the new look

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Entry filed under: Haircuts and Change. Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

I’m on my way back home again Slight weight gain

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. SanityFound  |  July 21, 2008 at 6:52 pm

    Am so so so so so SO proud, you my dear look absolutely stunning!!! Wowwwwws! Good for you, standing up for you, for who you are and doing things just for you and no one else… it takes major guts and you did it *huge hugs*!

    Reply
  • 2. diaryofarecoveredbulimic  |  July 21, 2008 at 7:06 pm

    Thank you! I was starting to feel stupid, because it occurred to me that I saw a lot of women with short hair today and I wondered if I’m the only one who finds it such a challenge to just be herself?! Not that it makes much difference – I’m where I am regardless of the rest and where they’re at. But thank you again! Encouragement feels soooo good!

    Reply
  • 3. SanityFound  |  July 21, 2008 at 7:41 pm

    Just think perhaps all those woman are going through the very same thing as you or perhaps something similar… think of it as a symbol, that you aren’t alone, not at all in fact its the opposite by a long shot. Proud of you!

    Reply
  • 4. diaryofarecoveredbulimic  |  July 22, 2008 at 10:25 am

    You always have such a good way of seeing things! Thank you! 🙂

    Reply
  • 5. Weekly Fruit Salad 08 « SanityFound’s Rambling’s  |  July 26, 2008 at 9:33 pm

    […] fully, our senses are almost dulled by the same old familiar tune. Kick the butt into action and get a haircut, eat a lollipop and really savour the fizzy stuff in the middle, steal a flower from your […]

    Reply

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