Slight weight gain

July 22, 2008 at 8:24 pm 2 comments

It has been exactly four weeks since the bicycle accident. For four weeks my activity has been severely reduced. Not only was I excused from doing housework (oh, what a shame!!), but I also didn’t go to the gym or do much else. I’ve just taken it easy. And wore skirts a lot, since they’re much easier to manage with one hand.

So today I put on a pair of jeans and noticed that they are tighter than they used to be! To be honest, I’m not too thrilled about that. Even though I’ve practiced it on a fairly regular basis, self-pity just does not burn enough calories! Today I got on the bicycle (don’t worry — I mean the stationary one in the cellar), put on the Red Hot Chili Peppers and pedaled for a while. Now I feel much better.

This situation does not have to mean devastation. Nor does it mean I have to go on a diet. It is the normal process that happens when food intake remains the same and one’s level of activity decreases over a long period of time. It seemed worth mentioning for a few reasons. First, four weeks have passed and I am in no way fat. In the midst of bulimia, I used to eat one big meal and think I was fat. This kind of puts it into some kind of relation.

Of course, if I had upped my calories with comfort food, I would certainly have put on more, but I didn’t. I don’t do comfort food, because no food can give me comfort. I think that’s almost an oxymoron. How can food make you feel better — especially if you’re feeling guilty while eating it? Sitting down hungry to a good hot meal can be very nice, but that is not my understanding of comfort food.

Another reason it’s worth mentioning is for clarity. With my eating disorder history, there is no way I would not notice a weight gain. Even though I don’t own a scale, I can feel the difference. Body awareness remains with recovery. Thus there is no danger that one will suddenly stop noticing her body and get fat. The difference is, the priorities change. Other things are simply more important.

Yet another reason is the simple fact that I, like everyone else, can certainly gain weight under opportune circumstances. So, now you all know that I am not perfect (not that anyone thought I was, but sometimes I still expect that of myself) and I do not have a unique metabolism that burns everything up regardless.

How will I deal with this weight gain? Well, I’m stuck with the jeans because it’s gotten chilly, but once it gets warmer, I’ll put the skirts back on. Meanwhile, I’m going to up my activity. I’ll walk more. And I think I’ll go to the gym and see if the trainer can’t figure out something for me to do. After all, there’s no point losing all of my muscles! One arm is enough! I’m gradually starting to do more around the house as well. Unfortunately, someone else got the job I wanted, because I’m out of commission. But perhaps that’s just as well. Now I can recuperate fully and then look for a new one. I trust the universe that I will have another job opportunity in this lifetime, despite my age!

It is kind of a bummer. Just before the accident happened, I was finally getting to the gym fairly regularly. I’m still a rather sedentary person. There are just so many other things to do that exercise is often last on my list, even though I know it makes me feel so much better and I’m so glad when I do it.

Well, for now I’ll just trust that my old self is still in there and will soon be back. Meanwhile, there is a trick to losing weight, which I discovered at some point. I think it was after my pregnancies. The trick is: I won’t think about it! That is the absolute best way to lose weight: Occupy myself with other things. Yeah, yeah — and get more exercise! 🙂


Entry filed under: eating habits and food, Weight loss. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , .

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Amber  |  July 27, 2008 at 5:05 pm

    you know… as someone too who has issues with her weight.. I applaud your calmness.

    I too have come to the point that when my clothes are snug, time to cut back. Not panic, simply more exercise, less treats…

    Good for you sweetie. 🙂

  • 2. diaryofarecoveredbulimic  |  July 27, 2008 at 6:13 pm

    Good for you, too! Everything in moderation, then we don’t need to go crazy either way. It’s a calm, sane approach, and we can still live in the meantime, rather than put things off until we’re thin enough. Spread the word!


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