How things can change in just a few hours

September 10, 2008 at 1:24 pm 2 comments

After that lightly optimistic blurb on tears early this morning, things have not turned out so well. I won’t bother to go into detail. I’m sure you’ve all had a trying day now and then. Various things are not working out as planned and I am totally frustrated. So now we move into phase two of the tears: crying for 2 or 3 minutes in intervals of 2 or 3 minutes, or longer, until it eventually subsides.

Any combination of things will work: bad news, things don’t go well at work, something you planned on goes completely the other way, you feel lost, misunderstood, or simply lousy. Everything at once is just TOO MUCH. What to do about it? Well, I just sat for a while and cried, and now I’ve been sitting here for another while, just crying when the urge comes over me, and figured I’d catch up on reading some blogs. It’s always helpful to see that others are also bruising themselves on the pits in the cherry bowl, since that’s all that’s in there today. I start crying more for them than for me and think: “Oh, I know just how you feel!” Then there are some funny posts as well. It relativizes things and reminds me: it’s all part of life.

Gradually calmness is setting in. All is not lost. Once I get over the immediate disappointment and frustration, I can start to think about what I can do to remedy the situation, if it is possible. I think these difficult situations — after the initial shock effect — are good ways to practice and refine our coping mechanisms.

There are all kinds of options, many of which I have tried: food, drugs, alcohol, sex, sleep — all in excess, mind you. In moderate amounts, they’re all quite beneficial. Well, except drugs. These options I have tried, and since discarded, for a much simpler approach: feel the feelings. After that, I’m in better shape to do something about it, which is more than I can say for my ability to cope constructively after a bottle of wine. And it really isn’t so bad to just yell and say, “Oh, this sucks! It’s not fair!” Blow off some steam, punch a pillow, rather than trying to stuff the feelings down with some weird substance that in the long run does more harm than good.

Ouch! Things do happen. Sometimes we make mistakes. Sometimes we make good decisions. Sometimes things totally beyond our control happen, and don’t necessarily agree with us. But then, sometimes great things happen, beyond our wildest dreams. I look forward to the end of today, then I’ll go to bed and maybe have some sweet dreams, which I prefer to today’s nightmare.

For now it’s just: Breathe in, breathe out. A couple of affirmations: “I am strong. I can cope.” And I think I’ll go see if I can find a hug somewhere before it’s time to go to work.

Entry filed under: Coping. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Tears and things What a week!

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Njord  |  September 12, 2008 at 1:26 am

    Very abstract, but Njord guess it does the job for you ;).
    Get the crying over with.As grandma-Njordia once said,
    “No one in life can make me cry myself to sleep, not when I know that they are sleeping well in their beds.”
    Regardless of if someone is making you cry or not, nothing in life requires constant tears, so get them over with before Njord does something about it (and you won’t like it)
    If you feel like it, talk to Njord some time.
    ~Njord the Wise

  • 2. diaryofarecoveredbulimic  |  September 12, 2008 at 5:06 am

    Yeah, well, it was just too much all at once – coming back from the States, new job, relationship stuff, as well as other complications, and simply feeling totatlly overwhelmed. But yesterday I remembered how I learned to drive: it takes a while before it all becomes automatic, and I imagine it’s like that with any new multi-faceted task. Enough sleep helps, too, which I don’t always get.
    Grandma Njordia sounds like one smart lady!


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