I am a survivor

September 10, 2008 at 5:06 am Leave a comment

Lately I’ve been working on affirmations. Actually, I’ve been using them to fall asleep when it doesn’t otherwise work. Originally I started with: “I am healthy. I will survive. I will succeed.” That was good for a few days. Sitting up in bed, leaning against the pillow on the wall, I would repeat these phrases until next thing I knew, the alarm clock sounded and I had no memory of sliding down to sleep.

Last night, it occurred to me that it’s about being not becoming. So I changed it to: “I am healthy. I am a survivor. I am successful.” I am not becoming, I AM. I repeat that, because it is important. Yesterday I had two cups of coffee, which is a sin I pay for with not being able to sleep. At 2 am I added another affirmation: “I am calm.” It worked! I fell asleep!

Yesterday I had two situations in which I stayed right there and didn’t get intimidated — a phone call to a teacher, and a discussion with my husband. Without that good old familiar intimidation and with confidence, I was able to stay focussed and respond in the now. In fact, one thing was on the tip of my tongue to say, but I didn’t — which was a good decision. I’ll spare you the details, but as I thought about it later, I realized I want to do that more often: be calm, in the now, and not get all upset or emotional and lose my cool. I started to think: “I want to be calm.” But that’s not it. Better: “I am calm.” Now. I am calm, centered, able to think clearly and stand up for myself. Try it! Don’t wish to be, just be!

These affirmations are about being grounded and centered, as opposed to holding my breath and hoping that they will come to be. They are. I am. Now. It makes a difference.

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