What a week!

September 13, 2008 at 4:22 pm 2 comments

Indeed, what a week it has been. I’ve been up and down, felt reasonable and hopeful, but also frustrated, impatient and desperate. It bothers me sometimes, as I’d much rather be calm, cool & collected at all times. But I’m not. So my feelings ran the gamut this week.

Among other things, I underestimated the challenge of the new job. I knew it would be a change of pace for me and my family, and that I would have to learn a lot, but I never thought I would stand there and feel so lost and stupid as I did on that first day. Even on the second day, I secretly hoped they would change their minds and tell me it’s not such a good idea. I’m not a quitter, so there is no question about my staying for the six months, as agreed, but I’ve had my doubts. (It is a limited-time position in assisted living.) By the fourth day, I was beginning to recognize certain patterns of activity and responsibility, and actually felt capable of making myself useful for brief intervals. And I knew enough to be able to ask pertinent questions. So, it’s better.

Today I have a day off. Rather than catch up on housework, I just made a mental note of what needs to be done when I have time. Today I’m just relaxing. Believe me, the housework will wait as long as necessary — it is a true and faithful life companion. Til death do us part.

A couple of people have scolded me for being so down during the week. It’s that old lack-of-sleep-and-a-few-minor-crises combination, which never fails to get me going. Now I can laugh at myself for this little fit of foolishness. It simply is hard sometimes, and life reminds me yet again: I’m only human and certainly not above it all!


Entry filed under: going back to work, Lack of sleep. Tags: , , , , , , , .

How things can change in just a few hours Humility

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. fromtheadagio  |  September 14, 2008 at 9:33 pm

    Fluctuations in mood, health, and understanding all remind us that we are successfully comporting to the vibrancy that life demands from us. When we are healthy too long or content for days on end we may question if this is because we have buried ourselves below the living. I hope the job continues to improve and that your house tasks don’t become too jealous that you’ve not attended to them.

  • 2. diaryofarecoveredbulimic  |  September 15, 2008 at 9:23 am

    Very eloquently put! Thank you — the job is definitely improving. As I drove home last night, I actually had a smile on my face and felt quite optimistic. The house is used to it by now and doesn’t complain about feeling neglected. Now I just look forward to some quiet time to get back to Anna K. 🙂


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