Lost some weight

July 5, 2009 at 1:01 pm Leave a comment

With all the excitement of moving, a busy work schedule and the challenge of developing a new structure in daily life, I haven’t been eating enough. Last night a few friends came over for supper. One of them is a new friend, and she knows nothing about my disordered eating history. I mentioned that I’d lost weight through all of this, and she said it was perfectly understandable — almost a normal development.

It has been on my mind, as I came to the realization that I was starting to enjoy the fact that my pants are somewhat looser. That skinny demon is still hovering, and I need to be careful. Luckily, this week brought me to the renewed insight that I need enough nourishment and enough sleep to function at my best, and to enable recognition and implementation of the gifts that the universe sends my way.

Food has slipped into a totally functional role, and has slipped in its priority. I tend to skip meals because I’m too busy and forget, and then don’t get around to preparing a solid meal. Then I just eat something to offer fuel, but it’s not optimal. My goal for today is to pay more attention and spend more time planning meals, to establish a new routine. Nourishment is part of life. If I’m too busy to eat, it will catch up with me.

At first I was happy to return to the weight I had when I first moved out of the city. That was the weight that my body had settled at and stayed at for 16 years (with the exception of 2 pregnancies). The other day I weighed myself at work and was disturbed by the fact that it had dipped lower. But I simply accept that as a warning signal, an indicator that action needs to be taken.

No, I’m not going to stuff myself and try to gain a few pounds in the shortest possible time. I’m simply going to establish better eating habits, and trust that my body will adjust in its own time. I hesitated to write about this, but I do think it is worth mentioning. It surprised me to recognize that old familiar feeling of enjoying the fact that my clothes are looser. That is something that a recovered bulimic/anorexic will probably always have to deal with, any time her weight varies from the long-term recovery weight.

And now, enough talk! It’s time to cook some lunch!

Entry filed under: eating habits and food, life after bulimia. Tags: , , , , , , .

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