Last day of summer vacation

September 13, 2009 at 3:35 pm Leave a comment

Today is the day — the last day of summer vacation. As if by magic, my daughter who spent summer days sleeping and nights out, went to bed at 8 pm last night and woke up early this morning! What a great way to get ready for tomorrow! I’m impressed. This year is the first year I didn’t bother to say anything about practicing getting up early, changing summer sleep habits, etc.

In fact, yesterday I attended a garden party and didn’t get home until midnight! I assumed my daughter had gone out and was quite surprised to find her sleeping. The garden party was wonderful. It was a bit chilly, but didn’t rain — which had been forecasted. We wrapped ourselves in blankets, talked, dined, sang together, and listened to the musical offerings from various guests.

Now we are all ready for the school year. Since we left out the annual summer trip to the United States this year, summer vacation has been incredibly long! Nine whole weeks!

My head is now filled with thoughts about school, some sort of a meal plan so that I’m better organized, and good habits and rules about bedtimes and going out. If we get off to a good start, that will make a difference. This is the first school year on my own — after 24 years! Now the pressure is off, so I am free to devote myself to my children and my life (and my own schoolwork!), as I please. I don’t need to wonder about the relationship, about whether or not I should leave. I’m gone. I’m here.

Tomorrow I’m attending a symposium on addictions: internet, shopping, sex and computer games. I just happened to find out about it on Friday, and was still able to sign up last minute — even though the deadline was July 31st. See? It pays to ask, even if it’s too late! I actually got a reply email Friday evening! I was otherwise going to simply try my luck and show up. I figured, if it’s meant to be, I’d get in. If not, then I wouldn’t. No big deal.

“No big deal” is applicable to other stuff as well — things I consider a big deal. Like my children’s futures. A couple of weeks ago, both of them were pondering completely different paths, no more school, get a job, whatever… and it was impossible to discuss it rationally with my husband, let alone with the kids at that time.

I did the only thing I could. I shared my feelings and opinions as best I could, then acknowledged that I can’t force the situation or make anyone do anything. So I went home, took my guitar out of its case, and practiced for a couple of hours. Afterwards I felt much better, and realized: I’m here for them, but I have to let go and trust that all will work out.

Sure enough, it did. So they both start school tomorrow. And I got in a good amount of guitar playing, rather than obsessing and worrying about my children. I’ll try to remember that the next time such a situation arises in which I am powerless. Just focus on what I can do in the moment — and let go!

Entry filed under: going back to school, Life after separation. Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

Things have certainly changed Upside down

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