Holding on

November 6, 2009 at 11:56 am Leave a comment

Whew! My plate has been quite full lately. Besides the usual coping with kids, the separation, household stuff and work, there’s been more. We are overstaffed at work, so I’m looking for something new. My training program keeps me busy and my first project (holding a seminar) is tomorrow! The dark, dreary, rainy days put a cold edge on things as well, and at the beginning of the week I felt totally overwhelmed.

Since there is no time or opportunity to hibernate at the moment, I choose to keep moving. Possibilities present themselves, and I take it one step at a time. On the dark days, I remind myself that God only gives me as much as I can handle. Apparently, God thinks I am quite capable and up to the challenge. Thus I choose to take it on!

I remain open and remind myself: When one door closes, another opens. Today I had an interview for something within the same company. At first I was apprehensive and thought it was an emergency solution, but as we spoke, I got the idea that I might like this job just as much — if not more! It will take a week or two before the decision is in, but it’s a no-lose situation. Either job is good for me — but I think I’d really like the new one!

Two weeks or so ago, when I heard that we were overstaffed, I felt a crisis coming on. I nearly cried while talking with my boss, but was able to switch over fairly soon to see it as an opportunity — a gift from the universe.

Generally, things are busy, yet everything seemed so difficult. (I confess, today things feel lighter somehow. Perhaps relief that the interview went well?) In any case, it felt like everything was much harder, took longer, and was tiresome. I told myself that it’s a difficult time right now — for a lot of people.

It helped me to accept that things don’t flow at the moment. It also helped to focus on the positive things — even tiny moments — like the unexpected smile of an otherwise grumpy neighbor whom I generally avoid. Or the sun shining through the golden leaves still left on some of the trees.

There is also the comforting thought that I’m still going full speed ahead, it’s just not as fast as I expect. But when I let go of my expectations and simply work with what is, I am satisfied.

I trust that the time will come again where everything seems to flow easily, but right now it’s that that way. Even as I write this, I feel how the darkness has lifted during the course of this week. On Monday I told myself that I would hold on and make it through the trying weeks to come, convinced that this dark mood and sense of burden would last much longer. I believe that through simply accepting the situation, things already lightened up.

So if you’re having a rough time, take heart! Many people are right now. Perhaps it’s the fall, the cold, the rain, the planetary constellation, who knows? I don’t. All I know is, we need to hold on, have patience with ourselves and remember: We only get as much as we can handle!


Entry filed under: daily challenges. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , .

New crisis management Gradually taking shape

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