Turning Points

January 21, 2010 at 6:40 pm Leave a comment

For quite some time I was convinced that the turning point to recovery came when I finally took the physics final I put off for a year. On that day I got the insight: “I am enough.”

Through recent correspondence with a few readers, I came to a new realization. The above turning point was when I became symptom free. But there was another, extremely important turning point that occurred nearly ten months prior to that one.

It was December or January and I was at an all-time low. I was sick and tired of bingeing and vomiting, and I said to myself: “I’ve had enough of this!!!” I acknowledged that I could not do it alone. The previous 12 years were proof enough of that. And so I decided that I was willing to do whatever is necessary to recover. I wanted therapy. That same day I found an ad in the newspaper: “Group therapy for women with bulimia/anorexia.” I called, went for an individual consultation, and joined the group.

I dropped out of school for a semester. I decided to allow myself as little stress as possible, so I could focus on recovery and whatever was needed to achieve it. I signed up for a few activities that truly interested me. Little by little, step by step, I took actions towards the huge goal of recovery.

It was all that work and willingness along the way that led to the realization ten months later: “I am enough.” So, no, it won’t happen over night. It doesn’t. Recovery is a process — with ups and downs and all the stuff of life. It’s just one aspect, one dimension, one tangent in the experience.

Since then, there have been several turning points — in areas other than food. It seems as if my life is a series of turning points. One thing leads to the next, and there’s generally something pivotal to set it off. That keeps me moving along the path.

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Entry filed under: Levels of Recovery. Tags: , , , , , , , , .

Walking through life’s forest Kind of a lousy day

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