Pyjama Sunday

February 14, 2010 at 10:50 am Leave a comment

I haven’t written for a while because there has been so much going on — inside and out. Today I have the day off. My daughter spent the night at a friend’s house, so I have the day to myself. It is truly rejuvenating to sleep late, hang around in my pyjamas, and just think and putter.

It is funny, this process of life. So much has happened and for a while I kept thinking that things would eventually calm down. Now I understand that the process of life is not that way at all. It goes in waves, and the challenge is to get some rest and get centered in between.

At the moment, I am getting ready to publish a book in German, record a new CD, and the new job is still a matter of adjustment. Meanwhile, this year I am hoping to totally move into a new job, but that is on the back burner for now.

Personally, it is a time of upheaval with my children. Two teenagers provide a source of challenge on a daily basis. I’m in the process of changing some behavior patterns of my own, and trust that they will have an effect on my children. Yes, I’ve learned that I can’t change my children. It is a system. If I change, the system will change.

In the course of all of this activity and excitement, I am still struggling to recognize and change old behavior patterns. They creep in when I least expect them, and then I am disappointed. But the awareness is a source of comfort. These days I recognize them rather quickly, so it is a matter of days, as opposed to the months and years it used to take before I said: “Oh! This is something from the past and not how I want to be.”

My desk is a mess of papers, bills, notes, and stuff for work. It reflects the inner chaos at the moment. So today I want to get organized and then go out for a nice long walk. No, not in my pyjamas! By then I’ll be ready to get dressed! 😉

Sometimes it is helpful to let go of everything on my mind and just focus on straightening up and getting fresh air. It brings in a new perspective, gets me grounded, and gives me energy to keep going. It also helps me get a better sense of priorities and goals.

I feel like a child who can’t wait for Christmas to come, but there is a lot to do before then. During the next few months some long-term projects will come to a close. I don’t have any illusions. When they are finished, new goals and projects will emerge. That is the course of life. However, it is wonderful to finish things and have space for something new!

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