April 23, 2011 at 10:04 am Leave a comment

what a word! Actually I should, but… I choose not to.

For example, last night: Actually, I should have studied for an exam next week, but instead I chose to finish reading a wonderful book by Christoph Schlingensief. Don’t know if it’s available in English (yet), but roughly translated: “It’s so beautiful here, heaven can’t be better!” He tells the moving story of his bout with cancer.

His determination to live made me take a closer look at the oft subtle accusations which tend to float in the atmosphere in this regard, which imply that the afflicted person brought it on themself. Oh, but that’s not why I’m writing this! Actually… I want to say something else!

In the next to last chapter he said something, which really strikes a note. Again, a rough translation, as polished as I can come up with: “But the greatest concept of freedom is probably that one can solve a problem.”

That set off a spark of thoughts. I know I’ve at times thought that I would be free if I was care-free and had no problems. But when I thought about this, it hit home. Yes, when I have a problem, it inspires (at times even forces) me to be creative and come up with possible solutions. Possibilities. When a problem is solved, there is an elevating aspect of relief, and of freedom. Through taking action, I feel empowered, strong, capable.

True, I cannot always create my problems (though I do have a knack for it, I must say!) to suit my personal preference. Most of the time, in fact, they are more or less imposed on me. But it is always my choice how I deal with it. In that sense also, I am free.

So I just wanted to share these thoughts, because I felt that sentence to be so profound and meaningful.

And now to a different shade of “actually” — I actually think I’m actually going to get some studying done. Right now! 😉


Entry filed under: inspiration. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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