August 11, 2011 at 10:23 am Leave a comment

We all know the sayings: “To everything there is a season.. got to take the good with the bad… life has its ups and downs… etc.” There’s no need to analyze what stood behind it, but for a long time I used to hold my breath when things went well. There was an underlying tension: “How long will this last? When will something bad happen?” I’m sure many of you can relate to that. A simple example can be found with eating habits. During a binge free period, I used to worry about when it would be over. But it applied to just about anything that made me happy. I wanted to hold on to it, to have it stay forever, but knew and dreaded the fact that it would eventually pass.

Over the past few years, I have learned a lot about crisis and its true nature: It really is a chance to grow and learn. Rather than simply hold my breath and worry, I look at the situation, see the possibilities, and reach out for help or guidance. Often there is more than one way to go. When a choice or decision is made, then I work with whatever comes of that. It is a process.

Who knows what comes first? The realization that life truly is a balance, a combination of ups and downs — or the acceptance that I as an individual have my darker and brighter sides. For a recovering perfectionist, that is a true challenge. In the process I have learned to deal with the inevitable tension and insecurity. No, I really don’t know what will happen, how things will turn out. But today I can accept the unknown. That doesn’t mean I never get crazy and climb the walls with impatience, but there is something like an impartial observer in me who sees that and reassures me. “Yup, this is all part of life.”

Trust makes a big difference. Perhaps faith is more appropriate. I trust in my ability and ressources to deal with whatever life gives me. I have faith in the big picture and today have less of a tendency to label things as good or bad. It’s all part of the process. It is how it is.

These days I tend not to hold my breath. There is a strong sense of curiosity. During pleasant moments, I can enjoy. When the situation has more of a challenging aspect, I am curious as to how things will turn out. I take steps, make decisions, and then let go — knowing I cannot control the outcome. But I can always take action — unless intuition guides me to sit and wait, which can also be helpful. No matter what happens, the world keeps turning and I trust in my ability to cope. Whatever the challenge, I can cope and will not simply dissolve into air.

Hmm, it wasn’t my intention, but somehow once again this leads me to the serenity prayer. Funny how frequently that turns up. “God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Wish you all a wonderful day no matter what! 😉


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The next round Addiction

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