A spider’s reality

August 8, 2012 at 4:33 pm Leave a comment

She said her name is Cindy and she doesn’t bite. Some of you may be wondering, “What does a spider have in common with eating disorders? Or has Martha totally lost her mind?” Well, it all started a few days ago. On Monday. I had the privilege of watching Cindy spin her first web on my balcony, and was simply fasinated to watch her work. It was truly beautiful to observe her. When she was all finished, my cat came outside. He turned around, and wish a swish of his tail destroyed her work. I felt really sorry for her, but there was nothing I could do.

The next morning I discovered that she had been busy over night. She had spun a new web, bigger and more beautiful, and higher up. Yes, she had learned about the perils of low webs and incorporated that into her life. In the dazzling sun, I found it beautiful and took these pictures. I planned to write a blog post about it as a source of encouragement. She’d worked so hard, had her work destroyed, but didn’t despair. She spun something even better. However, intuition told me to wait.

Towards afternoon I’d noticed that she’d enjoyed a few delicacies. Late afternoon I was devastated to discover that her web had once again been destroyed. No, this time it wasn’t the cat. It had been rather windy. She lay there in the remnants of her web and I wondered: “Is she digesting her food? Is she tired? Or, could it be that she’s depressed?” I don’t think spiders get depressed.

This morning I was absolutely delighted to discover yet a new web. It was better, bigger, stronger than the previous ones. I laughed at myself: “How can I be so happy about a spider’s web?” When I came home during my lunch break, I sat outside and admired her web. A pretty white butterfly had settled on the lavender for a bit, then fluttered around. For a moment I was concerned. “Oh, please pretty butterfly, don’t vall victim to the web!” But then I realized that life takes its course, and I shouldn’t interfere. Nevertheless, I breathed a sigh of relief as it flew by the web without getting caught.

This little story and distraction illustrate a few things. The spider works hard and nourishes herself, which gives her energy to work again. But she also lets herself rest, gather her energy and digest her food. And even though life gives her some hard blows, she just goes about her work and does what she needs to do, doesn’t question her ability or whether or not she deserves this kind of treatment. She assesses the situation, takes action, and leaves the rest up to the universe, I imagine.

Where’s the connection to eating disorders? Well, okay, I admit, I am kind of stretching it, but I think her coping, sense of purpose, working with what is and always doing her best are things I learned about during the course of recovery. 😉


Entry filed under: Nature. Tags: , , , , , .

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